


Princi[pals]

by herecomesbucktofuckshitup



Series: Lost In The Supermarket [6]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe, Disability, Domestic Fluff, Fighting, Kid Clint Barton, Kid Fic, Kid Natasha Romanov, M/M, Parenthood, Pinterest Mom Bucky Barnes, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15771621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomesbucktofuckshitup/pseuds/herecomesbucktofuckshitup
Summary: Steve and Bucky get dragged into the principal's office.





	Princi[pals]

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains a character using the r-slur 
> 
> (this is part of the Lost In The Supermarket series. you may want to read those first)

“What’re you making?” Steve asks, leaning over and stealing Bucky’s coffee mug. There’s colorful tape and yarn and all sorts of craft materials scattered across the table. 

First grade had started with a vengeance, and for the first time in 6 years, Bucky has an abundance of free time. Preschool and Kinder had both been on a half day schedule, and now there were four whole hours in his day that without little humans who required his constant attention. 

Much to Steve’s amusement, Bucky has chosen to channel his copious amounts of extra energy into Pinterest projects. “Reusable chore chart.” Bucky says, wielding his hot glue gun menacingly. “It’s magnetic.” 

“Neat.” Steve says disingenuously, sipping out of the  _ #1 Dad  _ mug. Bucky doesn’t pay his sarcasm any mind, carefully gluing plastic rhinestones to the border of his metal chore chart. “You gonna send back today’s patients?” Steve asks, nodding to the pile of fixed up stuffed animals on the far end of the work table, all ready to be shipped back to their loving families. 

Steve has talked to Bucky about the idea of opening up a shop, but Bucky always ducked the issue, avoiding the question whenever it came up. “Yeah, figured I could drop them off at the post office on my way to pick up the kids.” He tells Steve. 

“It’s my day to grab them.” Steve reminds him gently. “You’ve got Dr. Banner at 2:30.”

“Shit, you’re right.” Bucky curses, pulling out his phone. Tony had managed to convince him to go digital, with reminders and notifications and everything. “That’s out of my way. Could you drop off the boxes?” 

“Sure.” Steve tries not to grin, turning back to the dishes he had been ignoring. The fact that Bucky is so willing to delegate to him is great, a sign that he’s improving even still, nearly seven years after his injury. “We need a new crock pot by the way. You killed this one.”

“Oh.” Bucky frowned. “At least we won the chili competition. Put in on the registry.”

“Putting it on the registry.” Steve said, grabbing his phone and opening the digital wedding registry. 

“Need me to pick anything up while I’m in Tribeca?” Bucky asks, and Steve’s about to reply when a phone rings. Bucky frowns, standing so he can reach his back pocket to grab his phone. “It's the school,” He tells Steve, voice anxious. 

“Put it on speaker,” Steve says, and Bucky sets the phone down on the table, hitting the answer button. 

“Uh, this is James Barnes speaking.” Bucky says, using his grown-up voice. He brushes his hair back from his face anxiously. Steve takes a few steps closer to him so he doesn’t start pacing. 

There’s a crackle of static from the other line, and then a friendly female voice replies, “Hello, Mr. Barnes. This is Amelia from Maple Park Elementary. Unfortunately, there was an altercation today involving your child.”

“Which one? Is anyone hurt?” Bucky demands. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Amelia asks, momentarily taken aback by Bucky’s vehemence. 

Bucky glares at the phone, but relaxes when Steve puts his hand his shoulder. He takes a few practised deep breaths and finally asks,“Which kid? Nat or Clint?”

“Oh,” Amelia says, and then there’s the sound of someone typing on a keyboard. “Uh, Natalia. I’m told she and another student got into a fight. No one was seriously injured, but we take fighting here very seriously here, Mr. Barnes, so we were hoping you could come in.” 

Bucky sighs, partly in exasperation, partly in relief. If Clint had gotten in trouble, it could be a whole ‘nother disaster. The kid still got panicked whenever he broke the rules, and the school could’ve stepped in and called CPS. Clint’s stay with them was still probationary for another two months. “Al-alright. Um, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” 

“I can go,” Steve offers, but Bucky shakes his head. 

He says goodbye to Amelia and hangs up, turning to Steve. “I have to be there. I don’t think your name’s on the paperwork yet. You can come along, but it's just gonna be a lot of sitting around while pretending to be disappointed by whatever Natasha did. I doubt it’ll be riveting.” 

Despite Bucky’s reassuring words, he’s looking around the apartment anxiously. “You seen my arm?” 

“Here,” Steve ducks into the kids room, where they’d been playing with the prosthetic. Steve thinks they were one lightsaber short in their lightsaber duel with Tony and had nicked Bucky’s arm when he wasn’t looking. 

He comes back into the room, helping Bucky put on the prosthetic. “Lemme give you a hand.” Steve mutters as he straps the arm on. It's a stupid joke, but it always gets a laugh out of Bucky, even now when he was frowning with worry. 

Bucky turns with a huff, kissing Steve’s eyebrow. “It shouldn’t be too long.”

“Oh, don’t get it wrong, Buck.” Steve grabs both of their coats. “I’m going with you.” Bucky looks like he wants protest, but he knows better. Bucky will be there for Natasha, and Steve will be there for Bucky. 

They walk to the school briskly. It’s nearby. Not exactly close, but close enough that Bucky didn’t have to take the subway if he needed to get there quickly. 

It’s a little rainy out, so they turned their collars against the rain. When they finally make it to the school, Bucky has to shake his hair out like a dog before going inside. Steve makes him bend down so that he can tie it up into a bun. 

They sign in at the visitor’s desk and the smiling secretary shows them the way to the principal’s office. They’re greeted by the receptionist, Amelia. She’s tall and pretty, with long box-braids and a harried expression. “Oh, Mr. Barnes and… Mr. Barnes?”   


“Steve Rogers,” Steve greets her, shaking her hand. “I’m Natasha’s other dad.” 

“Right, sorry.” She pushes some braids out of her face, grimacing. “It's been kind of a crazy day around here.”  

Bucky winces. “Sorry about that,” He apologizes.

“No, it's not you,” She says with a laugh, shaking her head. “It's always a crazy day around here. Er, if you could wait in the reception area, Mr. Coulson will be right out to see you.”

Steve and Bucky both nod, then sit down awkwardly in the small plastic chairs that were clearly meant for children. Between them sat a small aquarium, with a few serene fish swimming around, and a soft bubbling sound emanating from it. Bucky stared at it menacingly, like he’s demanding that it offer him some zen. 

Steve just reaches out and squeezes his hand. It feels a little strange, to be waiting outside the principal's office. He feels a little shamed, like  _ he’s  _ the one getting in trouble.It reminded him of his grade school days. He used to get dragged in for fighting all the time. 

The door to the office opens, and a friendly looking man with a receding hairline greets them. “Natasha Barnes’ parents?”

“Yeah, hi.” Bucky stands a little too fast, offering his prosthetic hand. He winces out of embarrassment, quickly switching and offering his real arm instead. Principal Coulson doesn’t bat an eye, just shakes Bucky’s hand. “I’m Bucky, Nat’s dad. This is my fiance, Steve.” 

Steve greets him with a smile, then puts a soothing hand on the small of Bucky’s back. The door to the office creaks open a little bit more, and a small face peeks out. 

“Hey, sugar lumps.” Bucky says quietly, crouching down. Natasha pushes the rest of her way out of the room, looking absolutely furious. Her tiny hands are balled into fists at her sides, and her face is red with rage. She flings herself into Bucky’s arms, not saying anything. For a moment, Bucky looks surprised at the almost violent hug, then runs a hand down her back. After a few ministrations, she goes limp with relief and Bucky pulls her back a ways to examine her for injury.

He tilts her face side to side, and Natasha allows him a few moments of fussing over her. Finally, Bucky cups her little face and asks, “You hurt anywhere?”

She shakes her head sharply then says, “Clint is.”

“Clint?” Bucky asks worriedly, then stands, taking Natasha with him. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in the crook of her neck. He looks at Principal Coulson, an enraged expression on his face. “Where’s my son?”

Principal Coulson sighs. “I was going to tell you.”

“Is he alright?” Steve demands. 

“He’s with the school nurse as we speak. Nothing but a skinned knee.” The man assures, holding up his hands non-threateningly. 

Bucky sets his jaw. “I want to see him.” 

“He’ll be here in a moment, Mister Barnes. If you could please follow me into the office?” He gestures, pushing his door open. 

Steve looks at Bucky, watches as he shifts Natasha in his arms, still cataloguing her for injury. He looks beyond pissed, and Steve feels that spark of rage inside of him as well, but he forces it down. One of them has to remain calm and sensible about this. Usually, Steve gets to be the angry one. It's difficult for him to remain rational, knowing that a loved one might be hurt. Still, Bucky needs him right now. Steve can be calm if Bucky needs to be pissed. 

Principal Coulson looks a little unhappy, but gestures for them to follow him into the office. 

There’s a brooding kid sitting in one of the chairs, holding a tissue to his bleeding nose. Behind him stands a snooty-looking man in an expensive-looking suit. When he sees Natasha and Bucky, he wheels on them, wagging a finger like a bad cartoon villain. “You! It's about time you show your fa-”

“Mr. Pierce, please.” Principal Coulson pinches the bridge of his nose, then waves for Bucky and Steve to sit. Bucky holds Natasha closer to his chest, sliding into a chair in front of the desk. Steve stands behind them. He knows Bucky well enough that he needed to feel safe, so Steve watched his six, protecting him and Natasha and giving Mr. Pierce the evil eye. 

Bucky smooths his hand over Natasha’s hair, and Steve notices that the braids he had brushed and plated that morning have been ruined. He has to push down his anger once again. Steve did Natasha’s braids almost every morning, and he had them down to an art. He had perfected after  _ months  _ of watching YouTube videos and practising on Bucky so that he didn’t pull Natasha’s hair. How dare someone ruin her braids. “What happened?” 

“You’re children are goddamned animals, that’s what happened.” Pierce snaps, pointing an angry finger at Natasha. It's a wonder she doesn’t bite it off. 

Coulson stands. “Mister Pierce, you will be civil or you will leave this room. Now,” He smooths down the front of his suit. “My policy when there are fights is to have the students explain themselves first, before the parents get involved. Natalia, Brock, which one of you would like to start?”

Natasha shifts in Bucky’s lap, looking up at him seriously. “He pushed Clint.” 

“Liar!” The other kid shouts, hopping out of his chair. His voice nasally and reedy. When he stands, Steve is taken aback by his size. He’s huge, and not at all Natasha’s age. He has to be at least 9 or 10. “Your stupid boyfriend fell down because he’s retarded. That has nothing to do with me.”

Natasha nearly lunges at him, but Bucky has her around the waist before she can claw the kid’s eyes out. Principal Coulson points a finger. “Brock, we do not use that kind of language. Natasha, use your words.” 

“Fine.” Natasha bites out. She turns to Brock, voice cloyingly sweet when she says, “If you talk about Clint that way again, I will put my foot right up your-”

Bucky claps a hand over her mouth. “Not now, Tash.”

“See? She’s practically feral.” Pierce says smugly, preening. Steve really wants to deck him, but that would probably be setting a bad example. Pierce turns to Bucky. “Did you teach her that language, Mister…”

“It's Sergeant. Sergeant Barnes.” Bucky corrects, pulling Natasha closer to him. He usually hates it when people use his title, but getting the upper hand in this conversation is more important than how Bucky feels about the honorific. “Did you teach your son to pick on children half his size?”

Principal Coulson sighs heavily. Steve imagines that dealing with parents was the most stressful part of the day for a man who had made an entire career out of dealing with children. “Mister Pierce, Mis- Sergeant Barnes, please.”

“Sorry.” Bucky says immediately, absentmindedly fixing Natasha’s hair. Pierce just crosses his arms petulantly. 

Steve squeezes Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright?” He whispers, and Bucky gives him a nod. 

“Natasha, please continue.” Coulson says genially.

Nat huffs, glaring at Brock and his dad. “We were at recess. Me and Clint were playing-”

“Clint and I.” Steve quietly corrects. 

She sticks her tongue out at him and he bites back on a smile. “Fine. Clint and I were playing on the big kid play set, because the monkey bars are higher. Some mean boys came over and told us we weren’t allowed to be there, but we were, daddy, Miss Foster said so.” Natasha says earnestly, not looking at Coulson or the Pierces. It’s clear that she doesn’t give a shit what they think. She only cares that Bucky and Steve know of her innocence. 

“Okay,” Bucky reassures her. “What happened next?”

Natasha takes a deep breath, obviously trying to control her anger. The whole family practices Dr. Banner’s breathing exercises, because, honestly, they all could use a little extra calm. “They shouted at us and said mean things, telling us we had to get off the monkey bars, but I ignored them and-and Clint couldn’t hear.” She looked down and flushed guiltily. “I didn’t tell him.”

“Most of the boys went away after a while, but  _ he _ stayed-” She points at the boy with the bleeding nose. “When we finally got off the monkey bars, he came over and pushed Clint to the ground and called him stupid.” She says, scowling a little. “Clint isn’t stupid. He just couldn’t hear. So I punched him.” She says the last sentence quickly and under her breath, like maybe Bucky wouldn’t notice it. 

“Oh buddy.” Steve sighs. He knows that he’s not her biological father, but there’s so much of himself in Natasha.

Pierce sneers. “What about my son’s side of the story?” 

“Of course, Mr. Pierce. Brock, how do you think it happened?” Coulson says, voice controlled and fingers laced tightly together on the desk. 

Brock shoots a nasty look at Natasha. “Whatever. Those two  _ babies _ were playing on the monkey bars and not letting anyone else on. Me and my friends were asking nicely for a turn, but they didn’t even look at us. When they finally got off, the boy fell down. That’s all.”

Steve narrows his eyes. The story sounds suspiciously rehearsed, and Pierce has a gloating expression on his face. 

“Dad?” The door creaks open and Clint’s there, all big smiles and bandaged knee. 

Bucky holds out his good arm, and Clint nearly launches himself into his lap. Bucky catches him, only barely preventing the two kids’ heads from smacking together. Clint looks over Bucky’s shoulder, grinning at Steve. “Hey, Stevie.”

“Hey, kiddo. How’s your knee?” Steve replies.

Clint’s smile grows wider. “Looks really gross. Wanna see?”

Bucky laughs, palming the back of his head. “Maybe some other time, sweetheart.” 

“Oh.” Clint looks around at all the serious faces in the office and shrinks into himself a little. Steve notices, a little sadly, that the kids barely fit on Bucky’s lap anymore. 

Pierce scoffs, waving a hand at Clint. “This boy’s not even hurt, and my son has a broken nose!”

“It’s not broken.” Brock protests, though his father doesn’t seem to hear him. 

Pierce continues to wave his hands wildly, pointing accusing fingers at nearly all of them. “This was a baseless assault! I’m going to call my lawyer! My son is getting a restraining order against this little monster, and I’m-I’ll have your job, sir. Good god, it's not wonder these children turned out like this considering they were raised by-” 

“Raised by what, hm?” Bucky asked, daring Pierce to continue. “No, I want to hear you say it. Raised by two loving parents in a healthy relationship? Is that what you were going to say?”

Steve cleared his throat, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder before this got really ugly. “Uh, when we started at this school, we had some concerns about security,” Really, Bucky had been overly paranoid about letting the kids out of his sight, so they had rigorously vetted every school they thought about sending Clint and Natasha to. “I remember there being security cameras? Maybe we can look at the footage.”

“That seems somewhat… dramatic.” Coulson says, but glances over at where Pierce is still in a frothing rage. “But if it will clear up this fight, then I guess we can have a look.” 

Brock’s eyes widened cartoonishly, and Mr. Pierce coughed, as if his delicate sensibilities had been offended. “I’m sure that’s not necessary… not over a schoolyard disagreement.”

“It's a schoolyard disagreement, now?” Steve asked, crossing his arms. “That’s funny, because a minute ago it was assault.”

Bucky tilts his head to look at Steve. “I think the words he used was ‘baseless assault.’”

“Surely, if legal action is being threatened, we ought to have a look at the footage.” Steve says nonchalantly. 

“Of course,” Bucky murmurs seriously. “I mean, if we’re throwing around terms like restraining orders and assault, I should  _ probably  _ contact my lawyers, don’t you think, Steve?”   


“I think that’s probably wise, Buck.” Steve say. “Hey, what are Matt and Foggy up to these days?”

The kids watched their exchange silently. Clint’s brows furrowed, and a wicked smirk grew on Natasha’s face. “Oh, well they’re a little busy, after they took down that crime ring out of Hell’s Kitchen, but I’m sure they’ll squeeze in time for us.”

“They did say that you were their favorite client.” Steve adds. “Is it the cookies that you baked them after we won Clint’s case?”

Bucky nods. “The trick is to chill the dough before you bake it. We should have those boys over for dinner again soon, sometime. I’m sure they don’t get enough home cooking.”

“That’s a great idea, Buck.”  Steve says with a smile. 

Mr. Pierce waves his hands through the air. “Alright, enough! Enough of this nonsense. We’ll settle this like men.”

“Like men? What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asks. 

“Duel at midnight?” Bucky guesses.

Steve tilts his head in thought. “Maybe bare-knuckled fisticuffs?”

“Sword fight!” Clint chimes in excitedly. 

“Sword fight.” Steve and Bucky agree in unison, both staring cooly at Pierce.

Natasha scoffed. “Girls can sword fight too.” 

Bucky turns to her. “Of course, baby. It's just an archaic turn of phrase. Girls can totally sword fight.”

“What’s archaic?” Natasha asks, nose wrinkling. 

Steve smiles at her. “Why don’t we look it up in the dictionary when we get home?”   


“Why can’t you ever just tell me what things mean?” Natasha asks.

Bucky runs a hand over her head. “How are you supposed to learn anything if we just give you the answers?”

“By giving me the answers, duh.” Natasha said with an eyeroll. “Learning is just getting answers.”

Mr. Coulson cleared his throat. “Miss Barnes, an important part of learning is also asking questions.”

“I asked the question!” Natasha said with exasperation. “Now I want the answer!”

Brock, who had been following this back and forth like he was at a tennis match, shouts, “Archaic just means old!” Everyone turns to look at him. He takes the tissue away from his nose. “I pushed him down, okay? That’s all that happened. I got mad, so I pushed him down and called him names. Then she hit me really hard even though she’s smaller than most dogs.” He looks up at him father. “Can I go now?”

“Not yet.” Mr. Coulson says. “I’d like both of you to apologize to each other.”

Natasha lets out a breath and turns to Brock. “I’m sorry I hit you, and I’m sorry I didn’t give you a turn on the monkey bars. I should have listened better. I promise I’ll share the playground equipment, and I won’t hit anyone else.”  Steve holds back a smile of pride for her. It's big of her to go first. “Unless I have to.” She adds quickly, like they might not notice.

“Thank you, Natasha.” Mr. Coulson nods. He looks to the Pierce family. “Brock?”

“I’m sorry I pushed you, kid.” Brock says to Clint. “And I’m sorry that I lied about it.” He adds, looking at Natasha. She gave him a single nod in acceptance. 

Mr. Pierce stands, clearing his throat. “Well, this was a monumental waste of my time. Brock, let’s-”

“No, it's your turn, Mr. Pierce.” Coulson says with a determined expression on his face. “I think you should apologize to the Barnes family.”

“Apolo- I never- how dar- who are- I-” Pierce spluttered helplessly. 

“I’ve got this.” Bucky says, raising his fake arm. He clears his throat and continues in a terrible impression of Pierce, “I’m terribly sorry for comparing your children to animals and teaching my son dehumanizing language. I’m also sorry for threatening to sue the school and this nice man who was clearly just trying to do his job. I hope you can accept my apologies for being homophobic and making judgments.”

Coulson, who was clearly suppressing a smile at Pierce’s growing purple color, coughed. “Mr. Barnes.”

“Alright,” Bucky says in his normal voice. “I’m sorry for mocking you just then and implying you had a british accent.”

“Is that what that was?” Steve asks. “Buck, that was not very good.”

“It's a work in progress.” Bucky says, waving a hand.

“Never in my life have I met such undignified, unrefi-”

Clint raises his hand. “Can I do one?”

“Of course, Mr. Barton-Barnes.” Coulson says with a nod. 

Clint looks at Pierce with a wide smile. “I’m sorry I said you look like an evil praying mantis corpse rolled up in an ugly suit.”

“Clint!” Natasha bursts out with a laugh. “You didn’t say that!”   


“I didn’t?” Clint asks innocently. “Well, then I’m sorry for thinking it.” 

With that, he slides off Bucky’s lap and walks out the door. Bucky covers his mouth with one hand, “I’m so sorry, I just have to-” He grabs Natasha and flees the room, unsuccessfully hiding shrieks of laughter.

“I guess I should go with them.” Steve says. He nods awkwardly at the room. “Good day.”

They four of them high-tail it out of the school, not even caring about the last class of the day. Bucky takes them to an ice cream place. “This is not a reward for fighting,” He tells Natasha sternly. “This is a reward for standing up for what’s right.” 

He still buys her a sprinkle cone with two scoops. Push over.

The kids end up sticky and hyper, but Steve can’t find it in himself to be annoyed. They walk to the park. “You did good.” Steve tells Bucky, bumping their shoulders together.

“Thanks.” Bucky sighs. “It was hard not punching that prick, but I did my best.”

Steve shakes his head. “Not with that.” He says, then nods to where Clint and Natasha were chasing each other in circles. “With that.”

“Oh.” Bucky says. He smiles, then wraps an arm around Steve. “No.  _ We  _ did good.”

They let the kids play until the had exhausted themselves, smiling and tired with the day’s events long forgotten. “Aw, fuck.” Bucky says suddenly as they slowly walk home. 

“What?” Steve asks. 

“I missed my appointment.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: I made a Marvel twitter! Go follow me @buckshitup


End file.
